Blame the Referee
Refusing to accept responsibility for loss or failure is more likely to lead to more of the same than when we take responsibility for our actions. I call this approach “blame the referee” because I see it so often in sports. A team loses a game and focuses on the arbitrator (right or wrong), something they can not control, instead of how they played, something they can control.
A good parent allows a child to fail. They do so while still making sure the child takes responsibility for their actions. Once that step is taken it is important to look for ways to succeed rather than excuses based on others. An important piece of this is to teach your children that failure is not a “bad” thing. It is a part of life and learning. We are not perfect nor do we tend to get things right the first time. When we view failure in the context of the journey, then it opens us up to approaches that the successful often take. Embrace failure as an opportunity to improve rather than a reason for shame.
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